Today is the day where things happen. Big things. Things that I can’t get into just yet for reasons of superstition and street smarts. Things that if typed in here right now would send me in search of something made out of wood on which to knock. So it’s best I keep my trap shut and let these possibilities decide if they are gonna hook up with me for a while or drift on by and let the next set work their magic. Possibilities are like buses that way. There is always another one coming.
I am now 2.5 pounds away from my goal of weighing less than my driver’s license says I do. I have never weighed LESS than my driver’s license says. Never! From 16 on, I have always weighted more. LOTS more. For instance, I had to lose 70 pounds to reach this little goal. YEAH. Stop laughing! I actually thought people wouldn’t notice! I should go renew it today and drop another 70 pounds on plastic. I’d be nearly see though then! Awesome!
Is that really awesome: no.
Wouldn't it be cool if what you wrote on your driver’s license for height, weight, hair and eye color came true: HECK YES. I’d like purple eyes, please!
Bananas!
I often wish we lived in a world that was a little more James T. Kirk than it is. I would very much like a computer friend who was all knowing concerning my activities and body functions. It would log even the smallest of tasks in huge databases that were instantly cross-refresenceable and provide answers to many of my most pressing questions with out batting a diode.
“Computer, how many waffles have I eaten in my lifetime?”
“422.”
See!?! Hours of fun!
“Computer, how much time have I wasted looking for scissors in the past year?”
“3 hours”
DANG!
“Computer, how many times have I misspelled the word “museum?”
“Everytime you’ve written it, or 1,435 times.”
Yikes!
Fuck! I’m yawning! And I got 8 more hours to go! Wish me luck! Send me emails! Keep me busy! It’s gonna be a long long day!
6 comments:
Computer, how many pieces of gum have I chewed in my life?
7 million.
I chew the sugar out of gum. can go through like an entire pack in an hour because i don't care about the gum anymore once the sugar is gone. its craziness.
I just have to say, I got the new Shatner album and I LOVE IT!
"Computer, how many Minnesotans make you smile every single day"
One and half, cause Prince kind of looks like a girl sometimes.
"I just have to say, I got the new Shatner album and I LOVE IT!"
Yes!! That stuff is crazy. It has no right to be awesome and yet it is. The one with Henry Rollins just kicks nine kinds of ass.
70lb loss - AWESOME work.
i too, have to work at not thinking too hard when things start happening and then if i've thought too hard and they don't happen i'm let down - even though more things to happen are probably on thier way.
Me: Computer? How many times Have I been lost in this dimension??
Computer: Do I really must answer this question?
...
Post a Comment