I spill out ordered alphabet components, stream of consciousness like, when I can’t think of anything to write. When that first word won’t come. Or sometimes when there is just too much to get out and I don’t know where to start. Tongue tied. Hands in lap. Staring at a blank page. That was yesterday’s post. I just let my head go for a few minutes and watch what happens. It’s almost like a game. It is a game. It was in my writing book. My writing book. The only proof that I take this seriously. The only hint that my secret daydream is this, is writing. “Apple orchard angst” was my favorite phrase found in the pile yesterday. I like how it sounds said aloud. I like that it has a rhythm. I like that it makes me think of secret sects of teenagers creeping around scented apple orchards on crisp fall nights.
The only kind of apple I like: honey crisp.
Is it crisp? Indeed!
Does it taste honey-like? Not so much.
The 12 hour days suck! They’re not hard in the way a 12 hour day polishing tubas would be hard, they are hard in the bored, stuck and feeling lonely kind of way. My friends are being really supportive and nice and all that good stuff. Lots of phone calls. Lots of emails. Chatting on line. Stopping by for lunch. It breaks up the days. I’m still tired and brain dead and prone to the occasional teary eyed bought though. It’s no fun being left with something. Especially this something. But I’ll figure it out somehow. I’m doing what I can. Amazingly enough, things seem to be falling into place a little. Or maybe that’s not amazing at all. Maybe that’s just what happens when you start looking out for yourself.
WHO KNEW?
Oh wait, yeah, I knew.
I saw a pangolin for the first time the other day. That’s it up there. Today’s foto! It looks like a cartoon. I want one as a pet! You think you are all smart and have your animals down from like 3rd grade on and then you see something like that and are reminded that you maybe know 10% of the animal kingdom by sight, much less are able to make the accompanying noise. I have no idea what a pangolin sounds like, but I’m guessing it’s something like “gruwp gruwp.” I imagine they like to wear hats with ear flaps and eat pancakes for breakfast on Mondays.
Right now, someone is eating pancakes while wearing a hat with ear flaps.
Right now, a pangolin is putting together a bookshelf from IKEA.
Right now, I better sign off before this turns into a Van Halen song!
3 comments:
when i don't have anything to write about, i just start off with song lyrics... sometimes i leave them up there, other times i start typing and something else comes up. the song that's been flying out of my fingers streamofconsciousnesslike lately?
Monkey by George Michael
(DON'T LOOK NOW THERE'S A MONKEY ON YOUR BACK!)
Man, song titles or lines from songs make ideal titles for blog posts. I like using them no matter how random and unrelated to my post they actually are! Try it! Its fun! : )
That pangolin looks almost like a knitted alligator I had when I was a kid. I've got some old reel to reel with me getting it for Christmas and playing with it. Awesome memories.
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