It’s Saturday. I’m at the store. Knitting away like a child in a Malaysian sweat shop. Knit knit knit! Now that I knit here, in public, I have learned some things. One, I cast on incorrectly. Two, I knit “weird.” Three, I can’t purl. Four, given the weird way I knit, it’s unlikely I’ll ever be able to purl. OH WELL. Texture and cables and ribbing is all sooooo passé anyhow. Right? Well, no. It’s not right. Good knitters are to be worshipped. Worshipped I tell you! If you know someone who can knit a sweater, go to them immediately and give a big ‘ol hug and a hand massage.
Most advanced thing I’ve ever knit: a striped scarf.
What I would like to knit: a womb.
We have accumulated a whole lotta debt in the last 7 or so months. Here is the story, short form, if you’ve been reading my pollyblog for any amount of time, you probably have the long form forever etched into your psyche… but for the newbies (awww, aren’t they cute!) here is the Cliff Notes version: Don’t buy stuff in just your name for you and your fiance to have like houses and coffee shops. Kinda can put you in a pickle if things go south.
So, my life is calmer now. I’ve made lots of good financial decisions the last month or so and I think that I finally have things to where we can meet all the monthly expenses going forward but that doesn’t really leave anything to pay off the bills we’ve racked up. Which is a problem. And a kinda big one.
How much funner would it be had instead of racking up lots of debt on what basically amounts to a really expensive bad taste in our mouths, I had spent all that cash on cool stuff. Like original art and 1950s lamps and liposuction and a pony! YES. A pony. Then at least when the mean mean world of bill collectors comes a knocking on my door, I could ride off into the sunset on my very own VISA charged pony. That would be so awesome.
But. I have no pony.
So here is the wacky idea. We're gonna start a website, and advertise it in the local alternative weekly (I use to work there and get free ads! Yay!) where we sell crafts for donations to pay off the debt. A combination of “Hey Dear Abby, if everyone sends me a penny I can go to college!” and a little elbow grease. Right now, all we have to sell are our glitter paintings and my knit wrist cuffs (which are super cool, mind you) and M’s jaw droppingly good acoustic guitar CD - - but we’ll build up some inventory and unleash this wacky idea on the world, or at least on the metro area. It’ll even have a swank Jerry Lewis telethon style tally board, except it’ll count down instead of up. Countin’ down the debt! Kinda like Sweatin’ to the Oldies, just completely different. Heck yes! I hope this evil plan is a good one.
What I have eaten for dinner 134 days in a row, or so it seems: vegetarian chili.
Who you don’t want to sit next to for a long time in a confined space: me.
8 comments:
I hear ya on the debt thing. I had the realization about a month ago that student loan debt freakin' BITES. Its cool that I got to go to a great grad school but NYU, but sheesh, why couldn't someone else pay for it? I think that I might just have to go back and get a PH.D. to further postpose the inevitable.
I totally live on vegetarian chili, veggie burritos, and lentil soup.
ya,the debt thing. i'm chipping away at mine. wish i could knit and could proffer my creations for sale. i guess i'll have to find my own way - wait, i am a Personal Trainer... Good, Good Luck!
knitting just burns off that pent up sexual tension. Ahem, now what was my point... oh yeah, you might need a crochet hook this big.
I can't believe my previous comment... guess I really did party hard last night. Anyway, good luck on the crafts site... (they won't smell like veggie chili, will they? ;)
im just starting knitting too
i have no idea what i am doing
it my be purl im not sure
i want to make my husb a striped scarf
i got some cheap yarn at walmart
I need a "nose cozy" for my GF. Her nose is always so goddamn cold.
Tie around and nose covering are all thats needed.
Lemme know the cost and Ill send you a check.
Cheers!
That's funny - I love purling, but hate knitting. In fact when I'm on a knit row I usually start from the purl side and bring my needle back around to the back. In fact I have a friendy who hates purling too and we think we should sit side by side and just switch projects at the end of a row to get lovely stockinettes and cables without doing the stinky stitches.
And whoever says you knit "weird" just needs a little kick in the shins for criticizing someone else's knitting. If it's you, please duly kick yourself.
(I can't even get started with the debt part)
I would like to give you a ‘shout out’ for hooking me up with the knitting womb. It rocked!! I had to share it with numerous friends. For some reason most of the men didn’t think it as funny as I did. I now want to knit a huge womb and make it into a pillow on my bed. NICE!!
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