blop blop bloop

my night

hazy day dreams go
with his coke bottle glasses
blushing, knees touch

fourteen year old me
handing him a gift I made
when I was thirty three

my head

Bee. Be. Bea. Bursting bubbles clear. See through nightingale, heart beating, blood pumping, see how it works. Window boxes, clothes lines. Running through rows of sheets hung out to dry. Tiny pink percale clusters of flowers floating in a white white sky. Did you ever look at me and know all this? When I was 5 and running by. What was inside. I feel the hands of you on my back. I feel the Thursday bruise on my arm. I feel the hangover of my today sliding through my body. There is glitter on those chairs now. It’ll be there forever. A sparkle. A fleck. A piece stuck to his cheek. His eyes were big behind his glasses. His smile wide. He liked my painting. Matches a rug. Matches a wall. Matches his corneas. More beer than I could drink. More than I could spend. Who has my ankles? Who has my wrists? Have I even struggled against this? I forget that I don’t see the world like everyone else. Specialness gives way to none until someone says they’ve never seen anyone eat a donut like me. Reminded! Poked! There is just this one me. Safe. Slop soothe sanctuary scream so far so good. Scolded. Sink swim swoosh by. Sunday best. Isn’t best at all. Hover horse hang hop hop hopped up on goofballs. "Wanna see me disco? Wanna see me DISC-GO!!" Tongue sticking out. Bright eyes. Breathtaking breathless breathe deep. In and out. In and out. Close my eyes and remember the dream of glittery moons passing by. In the end I know where I land. Trees tall thoughtful tink tink tinkerbell! Thumbelina size of a button. Toss taste topsy turvy. Thank you for the trick. Run. Ran. Romper room. Rancid rain water ring ring ring the telephone rings. Doorbell. Church bells. Hand me my baton. Twirling. Practice. Again and again. Hits the driveway with a metal clang. Bouncing on it’s white capped ends. Punk rock paper airplanes paper beats rock. Scissors beats paper. He always let me win. Playful he knew. He use to know. Crisscrossed over. Water. Bridge. Brigade. Bounce. Rebound. Reborn. Redo. Redone. Reverb. Resonate. Release.