watching him, asleep
reminders of what is and was
it’s all orange now
---------
It feels like fall. Which is terribly depressing. Although, I do like sweaters a lot. I'm not ready for summer to be over. I'm not ready to be cold. But alas, the seasons are one more thing to which I have no control. Usually I greet autumn with a big hello and an eager trip to the basement to haul up my wool sweaters. This year, it's met with melancholy. This year, I'd like summer to last forever.
I am supposed to be somewhere else right now. Right this very second. But I'm not. I could be, I guess. But I don't really feel like that's the right choice. You see, when I do finally go there, I want it to be right. I want it to be welcomed. And I don't think those things would happen right now. Right this very second even. They just wouldn't. So here I am, at home. And not there. Which is OK, I guess. It's OK.
*deep breath*
I’m going to tap dance now to shake myself out of this icky mood.
I'm finding out that my new happy pill is shopping. WHO KNEW!?! So instead of moping around the house lamenting how I should be somewhere else, I skipped around the Fall Of America and bought two super cute new shirts and a pair of trusty blue jeans. All of which, when put together, make a darling little ensemble. So sadness CAN be cured by shopping! What a wonderful world, indeed!
Had a super fun morning at work! M had on this super sexy red t-shirt that led to some impure thoughts. And a few impure actions. I'm not sure what's gotten into me lately! Confidence perhaps. How nice is that?!?
I should try and go to sleep. I have to open tomorrow which means setting my alarm for 5am. YIKES! That’s crazy, isn’t it? It's still DARK out for goodness sake!
OK, off to dream about worlds where sad people float along in the breeze.
Thursday, August 19, 2004
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