white spot in the dirt
my underwear, out of reach
dang! i was real drunk
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This weekend was full of fabulous adventures!
Friday night, A and I hung out. We started out the night with spicy wontons, spring rolls and a good amount of beer to wash it down. She is an excellent conversationalist! That’s kind of a rare skill! Seems like we talked about almost everything you could think of! Boys with glasses, moms, board games, weird sex chains, questionable pornographers, not so questionable porn, cute yet creepy art, mutants, how some fantasies are best left as fantasies and on and on and on. Good mental exercise! One of the best parts of the whole night was her promise to show me how to make origami butterflies so I can make what could be the loveliest and most delicate chain of them EVER to hang above my bedroom windows. So pretty.
Ever have one of those ideas that you just can’t shake, like a little devil on your shoulder? I had one of those on Saturday and I gave into it. I won’t say much OTHER than it led to a trip to Target and a few minutes alone in the bathroom. *blush*
After my little personal adventure, M and I embarked on a shared one. The cast of characters for the evening: M, me, a crazy heavy box of change, Dawgwild and my undies. OH and a couple really really big beers.
We’ve had the jolly plan of hauling the crazy heavy box of change to a local casino in a dream filled attempt to become thousandaires for a few weeks now - and on Saturday, the time had come to put it into action. We donned our adventure suits, team lifted the box of change out to the truck and embarked on what would become a misadventure thwarted by TERRORISTS!
But first, we had to get drunk! Neither of us thought that we could take the 60 year old women sitting at the slot machines since 10 a.m., Virginia Slims hanging from their mouths, gigantic Larry sized cup of quarters, and polyester pants without a slight to giddy level of intoxication. Otherwise, that sight was libel to make us cry. So we stopped off at the Southside Music Café for some beer drinks. And, as an extra special surprise, we were treated to some musical entertainment by none other than DAWGWILD!! A coverband right out of some nutty 80s movie with a lead singer who smoked, drank and clapped on stage like a true professional and all without messing up his perfectly feathered hair!
Ever wonder where all those bleach blond women with huge boobs and no ass who have a penchant for faded Levi’s and tucked in black t-shirts hang out? I’ll give you one guess. YUP. Southside Music Café!
After a few songs and a trip BACK in to watch them perform Detroit Rock City (an extra special treat for M!) we headed to the casino. M = slightly, barely drunk. Me = about to lose undies in 3... 2...
We successfully get to the casino and after a few laps around the parking lots, find a nice little spot to call our own in the well lit and well populated ramp across from the Tee Pee of Lights. Somewhere between getting out of the truck and team lifting the change box, it seemed like a really good idea to rid myself of my undies. So right there, in the parking lot, for the whole world to see, I slid them down and threw them over the railing. Yeah. I was pretty drunk.
We haul the change box the half mile to the entrance of the casino, through the main doors, down the crazy carpeted corridor to the security guard.
“What’s in the box?”
Uh-oh.
“You can’t really take that box in there, since 9/11 you’ll be stopped by every security guard in the place. You know... terrorists.”
Terrorists?!?
“Not that you two are terrorists.”
Whew! We were starting to worry. I mean, we ARE carrying a big box of change and all.
Sooooo back to the truck with the now well-traveled and heavy box of change and off to Cub Foods to use the potty and buy some ice cream bars for the long drive home to a quiet night of debauchery, no sleep, drunken neighbors and thunder storms. It was oddly perfect in it’s own little way.
We did manage to complete the adventure on Sunday. Changed in the change, drove out there AGAIN, made it past security, and gambled the coins away. While not drunk this time, the silver haired, there since 10a.m. set didn’t make me cry, BUT I was quite surprised that we seemed to be the only two people in the whole place who were laughing! Gambling is, apparently, some pretty serious business!
I did learn something though! Things that would need to be added to the casino going experience for me to ever be at risk of becoming addicted:
1. Clowns who pass out balloon animals!
2. Free alcohol!
3. Can-can dancers!
4. Petting zoo!
5. Mini-donuts!
6. Free chair massages!
7. Face painting!
8. Tap dancing cigarette girls!
9. If you were required to dress up like it was 1978 and HAD to wear rollerskates at all times!
Off to be happy that this weekend couldn't have really been any funner...
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