Move over eggnog - - now there’s something with, uh, more cola in it?
YES. It’s true. Eggnog has a new competitor and it’s name is Holiday Spice Pepsi.
I kid you not.
Holiday. Spice. Pepsi.
We first met at Lund’s. It was on an end cap. I was walking by. Our eyes met, we stared at each other for what seemed like forever. Then I broke the silence: “What the fuck is this?!?” I grabbed the bottle and held it out for my companion to see. He was also stunned. His first question: “Is there cinnamon in it?” We read the label. We held it to the light to see it’s holiday reddish brown glow. We poked it. We prodded it. We left with out it.
BUT…
I couldn’t stop thinking about it! About it’s sexy elfin label. About it’s bright holiday packaging.
I bought the next bottle I ran across. I had to have it!
I took, maybe, two sips.
It’s not that its icky per se. It’s definitely not icky. But it’s not good either. It’s more curious. YES. Curious is the perfect word! After each of my two sips, I tilted my head to the side, scratched my head and shrugged my shoulders. Holiday spice is apparently cinnamon and ginger, with a hint of orange and pine. And maybe some tinsel and elf spit.
I can’t help but to wonder what all the uses of this new holiday beverage are. Recipes? Household cleaning tips? Cold weather insulation? Here is my short list:
1. Baste your Christmas ham in Holiday Spice Pepsi!
2. Save a can of Holiday Spice Pepsi until grilling season starts – make that pop can grilled chicken and infuse your summer dinner with the taste and scent of Christmas and cola. YUM!
3. Make a stove top potpourri! One can Holiday Spice Pepsi, one cup of Rice Krispies, a dash of Pine-Sol and two cinnamon sticks. Fill your home with the smell of Christmas!
4. Mix Holiday Spice Pepsi with eggnog and pour around the outside parameter of your home to keep non-Christians away!
5. Warm in crock pot and serve with candy canes and whipped cream!
6. Drink away your Christmas blues! Mix Holiday Spice Pepsi with the hard liquor of your choice and enjoy enjoy enjoy! You can also use Holiday Spice Pepsi to take your aspirin the next morning! Fun!
7. Set trap to catch Santa! Set out Holiday Spice Pepsi and cookies. When you hear Santa burp – nab him!
8. Save your cans to make festive tree ornaments or string them together with ribbon for an eye catching garland!
9. Gargle with Holiday Spice Pepsi to have holiday scented breath!
10. Grow your own Christmas helper! Plant one Keebler E.L. Fudge cookie 1” deep in large pot. Water with Holiday Spice Pepsi. Set in sun. Await elf.
11. Have an extreme snowball fight! Instead of wasting all that time and energy making snowballs – just leave a case or two of Holiday Spice Pepsi outside to freeze! Throw frozen cans at passers by, neighbors and carolers! Fun for the whole family!
I should stop now. Really. I should. This list could get to be longer than Santa’s list of naughty children!
Speaking of naughty children – I just heard on the radio that Dick Cheney went to the hospital with chest pains! The team of doctors who treated and released him said his heart is a-ok.
Heart?
What? He has one? Can they release some x-rays or something? I’d like to see some proof of this alleged “heart.” I was so sure he was a cyborg. I woulda bet money on it. Still would!
Insert your own Grinch joke here!
5 comments:
Holiday Spice Pepsi Colonic. The carbonation alone is enticing.
Holiday Spice Pepsi Douche. "mom, sometimes I just don't feel fresh..."
Hoilday Spice Pepse Toothpaste. If this doesn't eat away at the enamal, nothing will.
Thats all I gots!!
J.
Gotta remember that micro-breweries have been doing this dance around good taste for years... the latest one that gets under my skin is pumpkin ale. Gaaak. In the spice category, Sierra Nevada and Samuel Smiths (of the UK) have turned out decent spicy holiday brews.
When in doubt, play Denis Leary's number on the subject (cranberry nut-crunch f'ckin ale... ;) )
p.s. Holiday uses? Sounds like Holiday Spice Pepsi and a tasty bourbon would make for some wicked spiked colas...
I was drawn to the label as well, but due to it isnt diet and trying to stay away from carbonated drinks i was able to deny myself
i still like egg nog
Rumor has it that you will not be joining us down south for the holidays? I am sorry to hear that. I was getting excited to have a woman living next door. Is there anyway that we can help or help to change your mind?
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