180 degrees in 150 days

When my little ant farm was tipped upside down back in May, I bought this CD: Modest Mouse, Good News For People Who Love Bad News.

I came home, put it in my discman, pressed play and heard a song that would come to sum up my summer. I remember thinking that this was how M felt and I needed to find a way to make it how I felt. That was May. This is October, and I figured it out. I finally figured it out. Sold the store. Told M he had to decide what he wanted from me. Planning on leaving for a while. Looked for jobs in cities I've always wanted to live in. Learned that to do a professional style jazz hands, you need to slap your ass first to get the proper cup shape for your fingers or they'll be washed out by the stage lights. OH MAN, it's been a good week.

Here is the little song. Let's hear it for Isaac Brock. He's worth his weight in gold for the line about the moths alone. Brilliant boy.

World At Large

Ice-age heat wave, can't complain
If the world's at large, why should I remain?
Walked away to another plan.
Gonna find another place, maybe one I can stand
I move on to another day, to a whole new town with a whole new way

Went to the porch to have a thought
Got to the door again, I couldn't stop
You don't know where and you don't know when
But you still got your words and you got your friends
Walk along to another day

Work a little harder, work another way
Well uh-uh baby I ain't got no plan
We'll float on maybe would you understand?

The days get shorter and the nights get cold
I like the autumn but this place is getting old
I pack up my belongings and head for the coast
It might not be a lot but I feel like I'm making the most

The days get longer and the nights smell green
I guess it's not surprising but it's spring and I should leave
I like songs about drifters-books about the same
They both seem to make me feel a little less insane

Walked off onto another spot
I still haven't got anywhere that I want
Did I want love? Did I need to know?
Why does it always feel like I'm caught in an undertow?

The moths beat themselves to death against the lights
Adding their breeze to the summer nights
Outside, water like air was grey
I didn't know what I had that day

Walk a little farther to another plan
You said that you did, but you didn't understand
I know that starting over is not what life's about
But my thoughts were so loud I couldn't hear my mouth
My thoughts were so loud.