isn't he cute?

For two days, I could eat cheese unbothered.

Let me explain.

:A:’s mom was visiting this weekend. She stayed with us. “The more, the merrier!” is apparently our motto. In order to make her stay comfortable, we had to lose the cat. She’s allergic. He’s furry. Enough said. So I made arrangements for HIM to visit a kitty resort, otherwise known as J and K’s house.

We love J and K. Did I mention that?

My first worry was their Christmas tree. I saw it all WWF style, with HIM in one corner and the tree in the other. There would be end of round bells and a referee and jeering fans. I pictured him swinging from the branches and ornaments crashing all around him, the lights flickering. This crazed look in his eyes. But you know what, he totally ignored it! Must have just thought it an overgrown, picky houseplant. Must have thought it was an air freshener. Either way, a trip to Target to replace all their holiday flare was unnecessary. Thank GOD, because we’re broke!

My second worry was that he would make himself too at home. Which he did. He always does. He has a lot of kitty self esteem and chutzpah. He is food obsessed. Wants to smell everything. When you open the refrigerator he hops up on his hind legs, paws on a shelf, and sniffs around for something that strikes his fancy. And if he finds it, he bats at it until it’s within reach, grabs it with his teeth and makes a run for it. Cheese is a favorite. You can’t leave anything on the counter or within jumping reach, which is surprisingly far given his small stature, or he’ll eat it. We’ve woken up to many a chewed up bag of bread or a half eaten cake. He has a sweet tooth, too. It’s crazy. He spanks scones. Loves bagels. Will climb you for a taste of blueberry muffin.

The first checking in phone call consisted of me apologizing for 1) HIM not letting them get any sleep 2) HIM eating everything he could 3) HIM spilling yogurt on the floor and 4) HIM's pesky want of attention. They tried to keep him out of their room because J has cat allergies too, and of course, their room was the only place he wanted to be. Meowing and scratching on the door. When J took a nap, not having gotten any sleep the night before thanks to the aforementioned meowing and scratching, she woke up with him on her chest and a piece of string by her side. He wanted to play. He figured out how to open the door. No good.

The second checking in phone call consisted of more apologies. He ate a bunch of bread that they had “hidden” on top of the refrigerator. K opted to sleep on the couch with HIM so J could get some sleep. Thankfully, that worked. Cold weather HIM is a snuggler. And then to pay K back for keeping him company all night, HIM ate all K’s scrambled eggs. And they were fancy scrambled eggs to with cream cheese and herbs. He hit the motherload.

“When are you guys coming to get HIM?’

“Immediately?”

“Yeah.”