yeah. not QUITE as funny today. but still funny.

The adventure that M and I embarked on last night, fueled by sleep deprivation and THC, yielded this little gem of a story. We took turns writing. "Enjoy."

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Once upon a time there was a boy frog named Gipetto and he had a little pet lambchop named Suzie. He had received Suzie as a gift from his now defunct grandma, Ester. Lamchop said to Suzie Hey little Suzie. I really like your ball, can we go out to the Jungle and have a safari?

Not knowing how to respond to Lambchop’s request for a safari, suzie stared blankely at Lambchop. Her sheep like black eyes burrowing into his flesh. Her gaze was unstoppable and Lambchop started to look around for an exit sign. There’s that sign you’re looking for said Lammie to Sue. It’s not the exit sign like the one you were looking for, but it’s a better thing to look for. It’s the entrance to Hardees!

The smiling star in a cowboy hat beckoned them inside. HEY suzie, yelled lambchop, isn’t this where Gipetto works? Suzie screamed with gleeeee, “YES, I do think it IS the Hardees that Gipetto works as a French toast stick operator.” They smiled wide smiled and scanned the restaurant in hopeful search for their best friend.

In his spare time, while not operating French toast at Hardees, Gipetto carved beef ventriloquist dolls and one came to life. When he built this one beef ventriloquist doll this one time, it came to fuckin’ life and shit. When the beef ventriloquist doll came to life, you could always tell it was lying because his nose would grow into a sausage link. The first thing the doll said was “HI – I LIKE YOU!” and then his nose grew into a sausage llink

Gipetto exclaimed “WOW, I would like to have THAT for breakfast!”

The beef ventriloquist doll (BVD for short), took issue with that. As we all know BVD’s have nasty tempers! He held out his licorice twist arms and took aim. With a flick of his Mike and Ike fingers a sticky net of finely woven petal pink cotton candy coated Gipetto. He stood triumphantly, proud on his hotdog legs with mustard socks and shoes make out of bubble gum wrappers.

He jumped on Gipettos head and made two mustard dots. You see – mustard socks are when you dip your feets in big ol jars of Mustard from Sams club. His BVD trunk exploded into Gipettos face and Gipetto said “ooooooooooooooh boy. That a might big pickle we in! Eyes gonna has to go to work to get some more beef now to rebuild your little mustard sock wearing trunk! Eyes have to bring Lambshop and Po Little Suzie wit me so weez can all carry some o dat beef! Dat’s a lot of beef, muthafuckas!”

He then looked around at this predicament. And quickly invited his friends Pita Bread and Cucumber and Lambchop and Tangy Sauce over. Once all there he yelled out happily “Who wants gyros?”

The End.