secret superhero surprise

I’m still coughing. Seriously. Hacking up lungs every time I go from horizontal to vertical or vice versa. I’m starting to crave Robitussin and wonder what type of cookie would taste best dipped in it. Chocolate chocolate chip would compliment the cherry taste well, no? It says on the bottle to consult a physician if coughing lasts more than seven days. Assuming they mean earth days, I should have gone in about a month ago.

Two Wednesdays have passed. That is one more Wednesday than usual.

In spite of my designation as a “sick person” I got gussied up (read: showered) and headed to Wednesday Night Rendezvous Number One with The Boy On Whom I Have Crush. I accidentally on purpose got a little drunk and we somehow wound up thumb wrestling. (Important side note: I have never thumb wrestled a boy I didn’t later sleep with!) I think he officially “made eyes” at me when I first sat down and there were about 10 perfect minutes when our legs were touching from hip to knee. The night ended well enough - us chatting outside the bar and him asking me to stay as I walked away, waving, with Boo to her car. Which rat pack type said always leave them wanting more? That’s riiiiiiight.

We met in a bar and while that’s nothing to be ashamed of, it doesn’t give much for the best man to say during the toast, so I decided to launch a secret admirer campaign to up the cuteness a few notches and give us both something to smile about in the meantime. He has, according to his myspace page, one and a half fake teeth. I do not know the story, nor do I know which teeth. Which is a relief - meaning they are not gold nor made out of anything other than tooth-like material. His smile is flawless. Appreciating it as I do, I stitched up one an a half plush teeth complete with happy faces and mailed them to him at work in a rather plain envelope lacking a return address.

Behold the camera phone foto!


I mailed them on Monday and come Wednesday Number Two, I was all a twitter to see if he guessed it was me. I expected a pointed question about my sewing skills or some clever ploy to get a handwriting sample but upon arriving at the Wednesday Night Rendezvous HQ, he was no where to be found! The horror!! All his friends were there, everyone was chatting and drinking and chatting some more. Boo and I settled in and had a couple drinks and suddenly it seemed a good idea to confess my crush and mad sewing skillz to his office mate. Erik is a fine lad. Friendly, smart and secret worthy. After about 15 minutes of qualifying if he could keep a secret and about 10 more minutes making him promise and double promise and then super promise that he would, I said this: Did any strange mail arrive at your office this week?

His eyes big. Open mouthed smile. Finger pointed at me. He said: That was YOU?!? His mouth was still formed in the “o” shape when The Boy On Whom I Have A Crush patted him on the shoulder and we all yelped like the Beatles had just walked into the room. Erik stood up! I yanked him down! Boo started laughing! Maggie threw herself against the back of her chair! He, well, all he did was look confused and order a drink. About 5 minutes later he sat down and asked what we had all been talking about, Maggie cleverly and without skipping a beat replied: Our periods.

Like the other nights, he and I wound up sitting by each other and talking over the music. Yelling in his ear has overtaken singing in the shower as my most favorite thing to do. The gratuitous touching amounted mostly to high-fives this time around but the night ended with him saying that he would like us to hang out more. Did you catch that? He. Would. Like. Us. To. Hang. Out. More. HECK YES!

On the way out the door I grabbed Erik and found out that he was teased about the mystery crush and stuffed teeth the entire day of their arrival. He tossed out a couple names of possibility and I was not in the mix. But! He had talked about me that week. Erik also said the postmark was too smeared to read so they couldn’t even tell if this girl lived in Seattle or Denver or Nashville. Couldn’t have planned it any better!

I have two more packages in mind and after they are sent, I’m handing him a note the that reveals my secret identity as the maker of plush teeth and other delights. It’s the bravest thing I may ever do. Let’s hope he smiles.