pull the ripcord

I am employed again! It’s like working for NASA. I went from a much smaller paper to a much larger paper and the amount of high tech gadgetry and sales support is making me feel like I’ve hit some sort of work jackpot. You can listen to your email over your phone and your voicemail over your email. This may not sound like much. For all I know maybe 75% of all companies offer this fine feature, but my email and voicemail have never met before and if I wanted them to it would have required the help of a grumpy IT guy and a tape recorder. But OH, It doesn’t end there! Customer management programs are chit chatting with Outlook. Emails and attachments are automatically saved in the customer program via seamless address recognition. We drink Tang every morning and wear silver sapcesuits around the office. There are zero gravity rooms and the coffee is freeze-dried and crunchy. Seriously, pinch me.

Plus, I somehow got paid already and I’ve only been there since Monday. How do they do it? Seriously. HOW DO THEY DO IT?!?

Went to see King Kong. Otherwise known as the worst movie ever. Save your hard earned money, Jimmy. I didn’t hold a gun until I was in the army, Jimmy. I had a drill sergeant. I was a man, Jimmy! We were in the theater for what seemed like three days and the monkey still wasn’t in New York.

One of my many problems with the movie: there are like 10,000 prehistoric species of animals on Skull Island and they take the angry gorilla as their prize. THERE WERE DINOSAURS, Jimmy. Dinosaurs? Big gorilla? Dinosaurs? Big gorilla?

Can you hear me slapping my forehead?

Who picks the gorilla?!?

I’m experiencing post KONG stress disorder. It’s been 72 hours and it’s still pissing me off. Matt and Boo were good movie buddies though. Our collective squirming and snide comments got us through. We were like a team that went in and played a good game. We high fived when it was over. I poured Gatorade over Boo’s head. It was fun.

Tonight we’re going to a show. Matt has some pals playing in this kick ass zany hip hop meets punk rock aerobics kind of band and I’m nearly wetting my pants in anticipation of the night’s festivities. It’s gonna be a rip roaring good time and I may even take a shower and attempt to look “cute” for the occasion. Although. Eh. Don’t count on it.

The Events are still making themselves known. It’s all left field kind of stuff lately. Things I overhear or stumble across will remind me of it. It’s like high tide when that happens. It washes over me and then slides away. Anger is the most persistent of the tides. I picked a fight with my costar and realized, rather quickly, that it wasn’t a smart move but I didn’t know how to get out of it once I was in it. It’s easy to blame him. It’s easy to spew mean mean words that have my full backing and support only in the moment. It’s part of this process. Part of accepting what happened. I hear that it’s normal. I hear that it passes. I hear that you can stay angry for a long time while this settles into you. And that’s where I am right now. Sometimes fine, sometimes not. The scales will continue to tip though. The fine days will stake their claim to me and the angry ones will turn to understanding and peace and calm instead. It’s all deep breaths and one day at a times. Picking up a little meaning here and there along the way. Filling up my pockets.