ffoo!

I'm alright but my laptop has sprouted devil horns and fangs! Makes it hard to type! I'll try to tame it later and post something about the crazy week! Crazy in a good way! HOW COOL IS THAT?!?

so much time and so little to do. wait a minute. strike that. reverse it.

Let the happy induced freak out begin! I have to pack! I have to sell the store! I have to tap dance and jump on the couch for AT LEAST two hours a day! I have to sell my house! I have to sell most of my stuff! I have to find an apartment in Seattle! I have to STOP drinking coffee!

It’s a lot! In a good good thank god I couldn’t be happier about it way!

Yesterday I started to read Ulysses. I’m on page 34. WISH ME LUCK. This book has kicked my ass on at least three occasions. Here’s hoping the fourth time is a charm. So far, I like the banter between Stephan and Buck. I like the ghostly image of Stephan’s mother coming to him smelling of “wax and rosewood.” I like how Joyce makes compound words out of words that might have never been compounded otherwise. I hope that I’ll get so into it that I can’t set it down. Where I carry it around where ever I go in spite of it’s heavy hardcoverness. The edition I have was a find at a used book store. It’s teal green cloth hardcover with two black lower case j’s on the front. All 1950s beautiful. It smells musty and bookish. I like how it feels in my hands. I read it out loud just before falling asleep and let the left over images of Ireland and Bloom fill my head as I close my eyes. Fourth time. Charm. Fourth time. Charm.

Yesterday Basement Dwelling P and I embarked on a project that culminated in us feeling like Fred and Thelma from Scooby Doo. We had the lofty plans of opening a door to the back alley that had long been boarded up and nailed shut. P, or let’s call him Fred, did all the heavy thinking and came up with the plan as to how to unnail the door open. After a few tries, it was freed and with much joy we threw open the door only to find ourselves face to face with a BRICK WALL. A surprise to be sure! We felt around some for super secret hidden latch, expecting it to open all jagged edged along the mortar – but no such luck. Disappointed! Not wanting to give up hope for a separate basement entrance, we headed down the creaky stairs to the creepy basement. We searched around for another door, a boarded up window – anything – all the while our way being dimly lit by a Bic lighter and our hair getting caught up in the cobwebs. We think we found a trap door! We know we found some spiders! It was an alright afternoon. All I needed was an orange turtle neck and some glasses. Oh, and an ascot for P. Fred style.

I’ll end it with this note. Last night :A:, B and I were talking about elementary school romances. Mine was Ross LaHaye. Blonde hair, blue eyed Ross LaHaye. We were a “couple” from kindergarten through 5^th grade. We’d talk in class, hang out at recess then he’d throw snow balls or berries at me on the walk home depending on the season. But then I moved away. The realization: that still stands as my longest relationship! No good! Or maybe good! He was pretty cute for an grade schooler!

are you sitting down?

Cuz I'm not! I'm all wiggly and jumpy and wanting to tap dance because....

I

GOT

THE

JOB!

Good bye Minneapplesauce! HELLO, Seattle!

i like cream cheese, that's something

Hello Left Turn! Hello Monkey Wrench! Hello Philadelphia!

After the longer than expected wait to hear from Seattle (C@L!) about the Swank Job, I came across another opening for a swank job, herein referred to as Son of Swank Job. I sent in my resume. It was more of a Plan C kind of idea. I wasn’t really excited about it. I’ve never been to Philadelphia. I’ve actually only twice in my life even spelled Philadelphia and you just read both of ‘em folks. D’oh! Make that three times now. But you get it, it’s off the radar. It’s hard to spell. I don’t know a soul there! No good!

But!

The paper there sounds incredibly cool! The publisher, Would-Be Boss #2, is very laid back. They do lots of really interesting and innovative things. The atmosphere seems like something I’d fit right into. As for the city itself, well, from what I can tell on this here internet thing, it seems pretty darn nice! Lots of things to do and cool old brick colonial style buildings everywhere. It’s the 5th largest city in the U.S.! If that wasn’t enough already, the LIBERTY BELL is there! The Liberty Bell! Oh! And this season of The Real World was filmed there, too! And maybe best of all – it’s an hour train ride to NYC! Weekends of debauchery! And it’s just an hour train ride to Washington DC, too! Best chance I'll ever have to make out with President Bill Clinton! Maybe I’ll make the news!

They fly me out there next week!

Here is a patriotic photo collage I found of Philadelphia:


Suddenly my decision of Take Swank Job or Live Impoverished is slightly more complicated. If’ I’m lucky, I’ll have three choices! Swank Job, Son of Swank Job or Live Impoverished. It feels kinda good to take a few eggs out of the Seattle basket and set them aside for safe keeping. It feels EXTRA good to make decisions without having to consider anyone or anything else, just me. Maybe I really am gonna be alright. Wow!

I spent a lot of time yesterday talking to basement dwelling P. He is one of the coolest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of looking at hairy tongue pictures with! We also had a number of interesting conversations about such things as the Egyptian Two Headed Baby, the Pope, leprosy, Eliot Smith, feeeeelings and figuring out what it is you should do with your life. The Egyptian Two Headed Baby and the Pope were rolled into one conversation as we wondered what the Pope would have done with the extra head. We decided that he would want to keep it attached. And P agreed. It’s not often that P and the Pope come down on the same side of an issue – but in this case, he thought they would both recommend a custom knitted hat. I couldn’t decide to go with P and the Pope on this one or venture out on my own and support it’s removal. The extra head blinked! It smiled! It had curly hair! BUT! It was growing upside down out of another baby’s head who also blinked and smiled and had curly hair! So, it’s a tough call. As we all know it was removed – with the Pope being out of commission and the family being Muslim and surely not giving a damn what the Pope thought anyway and all – I at least hope the Head was treated to a proper burial! I also hope the other head with the baby attached will be ok! Has this left you wanting more Pope and Two Headed Baby talk? Click here!

I feel like I should end this with some sort of deep thought or Doogie Howser M.D. style lesson learned about eggs in baskets or figuring out what to do with your life, but I think for today, I’m just all about the sun outside and the friends I’ll see in a bit.

Nice.

woo hoo woo hoo hoo! oh yeah!

Still jumping on the couch! Waiting. Boing! Waiting. Boing! I’ve had a few people ask if I really do, indeed, jump on the couch at the coffee shop and the answer is this: HECK YES. I’m cooped up in this place for 12 hours a day. I drink coffee. I tap dance. I email. I jump on the couch while talking on the phone and looking out the window. It helps to break up my day. That and seeing how long I can hold my breath. A girls gotta do…

Today is shaping up to be a very good day. The phone is ringing with more good news than bad, my cup is overflowing with clever e-mails and friends are bringing me waffles. Yes. You heard me right. I was brought waffles today! SURPRISE WAFFLES. Which, incase you didn't know, are the best kind of waffles there are. Especially if they are covered in walnuts and banana slices and then shared while chit chatting with a good friend. So thanks, :I:! You ROCK.

My 6pm interview yesterday went well. It’s smacked of formality and i dotting and t crossing. I’ll be way surprised if my ass isn’t in the red office within 30 days time. Come to think of it, I’ll also be kinda surprised if is! Like I said, this year has thrown me more than my fair share of curve balls. If I can pull this one out – well – it’ll be a fine fine day. The interview was more chit chat than the hard hitting questions I was expecting. DISAPPOINTED! I had written out over a page of notes designed to make me seem very no nonsense and unafraid of firing people. I was even going to try to work in the phrase “kick ass and take names” into the conversation, but it just never went down that road. Instead, he talked of moving to Seattle and how he liked it there, told me of fun things the sales departments do for contests and nights out, asked me about where I would live and again, my favorite question, when I would start. I hung up with a big smile on my face and an overwhelming urge to jump up and down. Which I, of course, gave into.

How I answer my favorite question: “I can start immediately!”

How they respond: “Good to hear!”

Tonight is an art show with some friends. The art is all grungy rock n’ roll posters which is quite possibly the best kind of art there is. I love the spooky creepy yet ODDLY cute designs this place spits out on a regular basis. It should be a good time. I might skip outta here early to score some new duds so I can look all cute and stuff, but we’ll see how the day unfolds. Purgatory Coffee has quite the death grip on me! If I can escape it, look for me at the mall. I’ll be the girl with the big smile and deranged coffee shop following her around on its tip toes and ready to pounce at any second.

Perhaps The Haiku Master will jump into save me if I am in peril! I know it’s usually the side kick, which would be me, that does the saving but perhaps just this once I could be snatched from the bared teeth of the shop by someone other than me. He could “hai-ku”ng fu it and whisk me to the safety of Urban Outfitters where I’ll buy a sassy t-shirt and a funky ring while he fights for my honor! DANG! That would be almost as good as surprise waffles, people! AND it carries with it the added benefit of being able to go shopping. Nice!

boing! boing!

My news:

1) I am the leading candidate!
2) I have another interview today at 6pm!
3) I am WAY happy with the news because it SURE beats NOT getting the job!

The couch’s news:

1) Jumped on!
2) Ceasing to be fun.
3) Please! Make her stop!

hanging on the telephone

I’m supposed to write everyday. I want to write everyday. But I can’t. I mean, I can. I will! I am! It’s all suspended animation for me right now. For me right now. Me right now. Right now. Now. I have tossed everything up in the air and it’s stalled, just before hitting the lawn. Paused. Waiting for a phone call that will send it tumbling down in order or not in order. Is this my bus? Or am I waiting for the next one? Plan B is so plan b. It’s a job in New York. One I was offered before and turned down 4 years ago. It’s either a long shot or a shoo in. New York City doesn’t seem the hometown I thought it then. It seems like work now. Like it’d take me a long time to find normal there. All I want is normal. All I want is calm. All I want is me again. Seattle though, that’s like home. That’s like easy and cake and something I can wrap my arms around. It’s the same size. The same pace. The same job. It’s where I want to go. If they want to have me. But the phone is not ringing right now. It has no news to bring. My day is almost over and so it’s on to tomorrows nail biting, pacing, jumping on the couch. I know I can take one more day. I hope the couch can!